Prisoner of Hope!

In 2002 I was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease and given a short time to live.  As you can imagine, I was shocked, angry, confused, sad...every emotion - I was feeling it.  The overwhelming emotion - the one that grabbed ahold of my heart and wouldn't let go - the one that filled my mind during my waking and even my sleeping hours was fear!  All out - paralyzing - all consuming fear!

 

I'm not really sure what exactly I was afraid of.  I knew that I would go to heaven.  I knew that my family and my friends would be with me no matter what I faced.  I knew that the doctors would do everything in their power to make my last days as easy as possible and yet I was afraid.  No let me rephrase, I was AFRAID - big, bold, in your face - afraid!

 

During that time, God gave me this verse:

 

Zechariah 9:12: Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.

I knew at that moment that if I only had a short time left to live, I didn't want to live it in fear.  I wanted to live my last days to the fullest.  I didn't want to be a prisoner of my emotions.  If I was going to be a prisoner of anything, I was going to choose to be a prisoner of hope! HOPE!  HOPE!

Hope is defined as - to want or expect something; a confident desire.  I wanted to want and expect what God had planned for me.  I wanted to be confident in my desire to be with Him no matter if that came sooner rather than later.  Hebrews 11:1 says - Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. That's what I wanted! I didn't want to be afraid of the unknown - I wanted to have hope in the unseen - God! I wanted what Zechariah 9:12 said.

On a Sunday morning not long after my diagnosis, I went forward at church and an elder prayed for me.  He didn't pray for healing, he prayed that God would remove my fear.  At that moment I was healed. Totally healed. I could breathe!  I constantly had the feeling of a belt tightening around my lungs and I could never get a deep breath but at that moment it's like I came up for air!  I could breathe!!!  The interesting thing is - the first thing I noticed - wasn't that I could breathe - but that my fear was gone.  Of course, right on the heels of that realization was the one that I could breathe but the first healing that God had me notice was the one from fear.

Now that may seem weird to you but not to me.  You see, God healed me physically but I believe that, like it says in Zechariah 9:12, God restored twice as much to me.  He healed me physically but he also took away my fear! 2 Timothy 1:7 says - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. God doesn't want us to be ruled by our emotions or held back by our insecurities and fear.  He wants us to walk boldly in His promises for us!  That is the truth I needed to learn.  The gift He gave me was my physical healing.  When I went for some tests later my doctor said that he didn't know what had happened but that it looked like I had a new set of lungs.  No sign of any disease.  BRAND NEW LUNGS!  Well, I knew what happened!  I knew that we serve a mighty God!!!!

I have held onto Zechariah 9:12 thru many other trials and obstacles and fears in my life.  It doesn't mean that I'm never afraid but it does mean that I don't let myself become a prisoner of my fear.  I choose to become a prisoner of hope.  I choose to look to God's Word for reassurance and strength and courage. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 says - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Philippians 4:13 says - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Jeremiah 29:11 says - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Matthew 6:25-27 says - “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

That is what I want to be a "prisoner" of - God's Hope - God's Strength - God's Provision and God's Love and with God's help that is exactly what I will be!