Chapters 29 - 31 find Job remembering what was. He longs for his past life, when things were good. His friendship with God was intimate and close. Job had it all. He longed for what had been. How many of us do that? How many of us wish for what we had? Especially during times of trouble. We naturally don't jump for joy when the road is rough or do a happy dance in anticipation of how much our character is going to grow once we get through a trial. Nope...we tend to look backwards and wish for what was.
Looking backwards always seems to make the past rosier. We never quite remember things the way they actually were. I'm sure that Job's life had been great. Job was remembering when his children were alive and when his business was prospering. However, Job was just a man, so I'm sure had troubles and problems too. But our memories are almost always sunnier than what reality actually was. We have to remind ourselves that things weren't perfect then just like they're not perfect now.
I'm going through a little bit of that myself. Being married for the first time at the age of 42 has certainly brought it's own set of challenges. I moved out of my parents home in my early 20's and other than a year spent living with my sister, I always lived by myself until I got married this April. Just having another person in the house has been an adjustment. Then add to it the fact that it's a man - someone who doesn't think anything like me - oy vey! That has caused a lot of bumps along the road. Having to adjust when someone changes the plan or having to ask someone else for their opinion before making a decision or having to literally sit in the passenger seat on road trips and not be the driver...goodness the bumps just keep piling up.
I catch myself thinking about those times when I had a house to myself and total control of the remote. I could eat cereal for dinner and not do the dishes for days if I didn't want to. I could spend my money however I wanted. I made a decision and it didn't change unless I was the one that changed it. I could sleep in or stay up late. I could watch all the Doris Day movies I wanted and didn't see a hint of basketball or football unless by accident while channel surfing.
Then I stop and remind myself of the loneliness and how I longed to be married. Of those times when I wanted to go try a new restaurant but didn't have anyone to go with. Or wanting to head to the beach for the day but not wanting to go alone. I think about how I wished for someone to snuggle up to at night or cuddle with during a movie. I wanted someone to do life with and now I have him. I thank God for my blessings even though the adjustment is harder than I thought it would be. It just is what it is and Nathan and I will get through it, together. Nathan is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me and I strive each day to look ahead and be grateful and not look back through rose colored glasses.
So like Job, we can look back on our life and idealize what it was or we can be honest and pepper those memories with a healthy dose of reality. Then look forward - towards God - and ask Him for help to get through what lies ahead for us. We need to remind ourselves to be grateful for the moment that is not just for the moments that were. Hopefully, our road won't be as rough as Job's but if it is, may we remember to look for God. To ask our questions. To seek out answers. And then our words should end...just like Job's did at the end of chapter 31. We should be quiet and listen for the voice of God.
I have no idea if God would have spoken any sooner if Job would have just stopped talking and stopped arguing/debating with his friends. Maybe He wouldn't have but maybe He would have. We'll never know. I know that sometimes my words just need to end and I need to listen for God. I need to stop presenting my case or asking for what I want or justifying my actions or explaining my opinion...my words just need to end.
In chapter 32, a fourth "friend" of Job's, Elihu, speaks for the first time. He gives his own reasoning and opinion as to why things are happening to Job. Some of his logic has a grain of truth in it (it doesn't apply to Job but there is some truth in what Elihu is thinking) and some of it is way off base, but Job doesn't debate with this friend. Job stays quiet. He was probably exhausted and didn't have the energy to start debating with a fresh opponent. Or perhaps Job actually realized that his efforts were futile and he needed to just be quiet and wait for the Lord. I'm sure someone more astute than I am knows the answer to that question but whatever the reason - Job was quiet.
I think we need to do that more often...I know I do. I need to just be quiet and wait. I need to sit with what is going on around me and in my life and stop trying to explain it or justify it or understand it and just wait. God will speak sooner or later and it will always be right on time.
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